dagosan's haiku diary: I: 004

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

last garbage day
in November --
the squirrels feast all morning

At November 30, 2005 11:41 AM, david giacalone said...: Thanks, Dustin. I almost wrote "the squirrels give thanks" for the last line.
At November 30, 2005 3:48 PM, Anonymous said...: on a similar path, but probably
a senryu...

anniversary day
the roar of the recycling truck
wakes us

just started doing this, is this
an ok poem? would appreciate
some criticism from the master
of the site
At November 30, 2005 4:14 PM, david giacalone said...: Hello, Anonymous. Thanks for stopping by. I really don't want to get into the business of critiquing poems left at this weblog -- I don't have the credentials or the temperament. However, I will say that "anniversary" definitely looks like an "okay" senryu structurally. You have, of course, left us guessing about just what might or might not be recycled.
At November 30, 2005 7:08 PM, Anonymous said...: what's recycled? well, another

year between my wife and i. the

recycling bin was filled with

newspapers & tin cans.

first warm day
the stranger and i
kick a can down main street