Wednesday, April 19, 2006

II: 109

pussywillow catkins
brush my face --

for elizabeth macfarland


At April 20, 2006 10:13 AM, Blogger extraspecialbitter said...

a cacophonous confluence of cats!

At April 20, 2006 2:25 PM, Blogger david giacalone said...

Golly, ExtraDude, I know the customer's always right, but it seems more cathartic than cacophonous to your humble host.

At April 21, 2006 4:14 PM, Blogger Little Onion said...

cats claws cutting to the chase - the last line - the last word - it doesn't work for me david - feels too contrived - not always a bad thing - some contrivance - but here...

i think you need a bigger shift against the first two lines...


At April 21, 2006 9:27 PM, Blogger david giacalone said...

Thanks for the thoughtful advice, LO. For me, however, a big shift would be the contrivance. The point in this poem, for me, is just how much the pussywillow looks and feels like a cat, and how the writer feels like purring.


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